Waiting Game

I'm sorry for the long silence on the blog. We have spent the last few weeks wrapping up work obligations and getting final preparations in place for the little guy's arrival. After I finished work last week, I spent a lot of time sleeping, cleaning, and relaxing. I'm starting to feel a little more "normal" in terms of energy, which is a great thing.

Ryan and I are stuck in the waiting game. I'm past due and labor can start at any time. If I go to 41 weeks, I will have an ultrasound and testing to make sure the bun (more like a loaf at this point) is healthy and safe. My goal is to let things progress as naturally as possible and avoid medical interventions that could lead to more dramatic interventions like a c-section. Unfortunately, this means neither Ryan nor I are in control. Needless to say, we're not entirely comfortable in this new position. I have to admit that I totally understand why some women schedule an induction or c-section.

Here is a typical day in the waiting game: Ryan and I wake up a little groggy and tired from a night of tossing, turning, and trips to the bathroom. We have breakfast in relative silence because conversation is a little tough when you haven't slept more than a couple of hours. When I do sleep, I have weird dreams about my water breaking in really inappropriate places like the grocery store. These dreams don't hold me back from going out, but I can't help but ask my water to stay intact before I go into a store or other public place.

Ryan goes to work because he doesn't want to start his leave until the baby comes -- totally understandable but he is in a tough place where he can't start a multi-day project because you never know when the baby wants to get the labor train moving. I find a couple of easy jobs to do around the house during the day, but spend most of my time napping, reading, or watching Netflix. When the outdoor temperature is reasonable (i.e., not in the 90s), I go for a short walk or run errands to get some activity.

When Ryan returns home from work, he looks for ways to keep himself as busy as possible. Every time I make a noise, he immediately snaps to attention and asks if it's time. I tell him that nothing is happening except the baby kicking my lungs or pushing on my bladder. It's cute to see him so excited and eager to meet his son.

At night, I watch bad reality television shows or read, and I feel terrible for being so lazy when Ryan is a flurry of productivity. Then I remind myself that I am providing basic needs like nourishment, blood, etc. to both myself and another person, so I can give myself a break. That consolation lasts for about 20 minutes. When I start to fret again, I remind myself that I will be working hard when I'm in labor and learning how to be a parent. That consolation lasts for about 45 minutes. This mental back and forth goes on for a while until I'm too tired to worry anymore and I go to bed.

Sometimes, we break up our evening ritual with a baby names discussion. I can't tell you how difficult the names issue is for us. The fact is that we can't talk seriously about names until the baby comes, at which point we we can try out different options to find the name that fits him the best.

We also try to find some time to enjoy each other's company. We went to one of our favorite sushi restaurants for dinner on Sunday and completed the night with gelato. We fully recognize that a major life change is coming at us and that we need to take time to appreciate each other. Spending time together is a priority for us now and when the baby comes.

One thing we've learned in the waiting game: Ryan and I don't like waiting. We aren't the most patient people in the world. That said, we know all the discomfort will be worth it in the end. We are just hoping for the end to be here sooner rather than later.