Saturday, August 28, 2010

Maybe I'm just fat and not actually pregnant.

Well, the baby is about a week-and-a-half overdue, and I'm starting to think that I'm not pregnant, just fat. I have been eating on a hobbit schedule for the last nine months. For those not familiar with a hobbit meal schedule, Wikipedia describes it as:

They would enjoy at least seven meals a day, when they can get them – breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and (later in the evening) supper. They were often described as enjoying simple food—such as bread, meat, potatoes, tea, and cheese—and having a particular passion for mushrooms.


This hypothesis may be plausible if I didn't know that there was a heartbeat in my belly and lots of movement, although this could be the result of extreme gas generated by my eating habits.

Assuming I am pregnant, I'm starting to get frustrated with the wait. If I don't go into labor in the next few days, I will be induced, which I'm very nervous about because an induction increases my chances at needing an epidural and/or a cesarean section. Personally, I want to do everything I can to avoid the complications that come with these medical interventions because I want to recover as quickly as possible to start breastfeeding and taking care of the new baby.

In order to ease our minds, we have heard lots of suggestions for starting labor from loving and sympathetic friends and family. Some of the suggestions have real benefits but many are old wive's tales or myths. The reality is that two primary hormones help start labor: prostaglandins and oxytocin (the synthetic form is called pitocin and is used to induce or speed up labor in hospitals). Prostaglandins help the cervix ripen (thin, soften, dilate) while oxytocin helps the uterus contract. Some of the suggested labor inducers are thought to help increase levels of prostaglandins and/or oxytocin. Others have no link to labor whatsoever. Regardless, all of them are funny, so I thought I'd share them with our Nonerick followers.

  • Sex (semen has prostaglandins and having an orgasm releases oxytocin - this is one of the more possible/likely labor inducers)
  • Spicy food (no scientific evidence that this works and no clear theory on why spicy foods may induce labor)
  • Tumeric (no evidence of labor inducing qualities)
  • Blueberry pie (huh?)
  • Large spaghetti dinner/eggplant parmesan (huh?)
  • Jumping up and down (some people must think that jumping up and down will break your water or result in the baby falling out - this is crazy)
  • Bumpy car ride (perhaps the same rationale as jumping up and down?)
  • Walking (there is some evidence that walking can help get the baby in position for birth and put pressure on the cervix to help dilation, however, we've been walking and walking everyday without any results)
  • Eating pineapple (pineapple has a chemical that may help ripen the cervix, but there is no evidence to suggest that this is a credible theory)
  • Evening primrose oil (Our midwife suggested trying evening primrose oil, which I started taking a couple of days ago. The theory is that evening primrose oil contains prostaglandins to help the cervix ripen, but there is a lack of scientific evidence that this is the case. I decided to start taking the oil because it doesn't have harmful side effects and there are three possible outcomes from taking the oil, two of which result in labor: 1. the oil actually ripens my cervix and induces labor; 2. a placebo effect ripens my cervix and induces labor; or 3. nothing happens.)
  • Blue and/or black cohosh (like primrose oil, the evidence is not clear on whether cohosh works to induce labor. However, cohosh can have complications for baby, so I'm not going to take it.)
  • Castor oil (a powerful laxative, castor oil has been used for centuries to stir labor. However, there is no evidence that it actually does anything and it can lead to dehydration and discomfort, so I'm not taking it.)
  • Nipple stimulation (there is some evidence that nipple stimulation releases oxytocin, but it's effectiveness as a labor inducer is unclear)
  • Full moon (huh? this one has failed us twice now)
Did I miss anything?

1 comment:

Becky said...

Good luck! I'm thinking of you.