A Kick in the Pants

Following up on my incredibly depressing post from yesterday, I listened to an interview this morning with Gloria Steinem, and it was exactly the swift kick in the tush that I needed. One of the issues Steinem talked about was the workplace -- frankly one of my main points of anxiety -- and she challenged my assumptions and expectations on parenting and a professional career. I would summarize the interview, but I really suggest folks listen to it on their own (it's under an hour long but totally worth it).

My anxiety about balancing work and family is rooted in the assumption that one is more valuable than the other. The reality is that they are both important, and while I may need to occasionally prioritize one over the other, I'm not going to sacrifice one for the other. I may not be confident in my ability to be a good parent, but I am confident that I want both a career and a family. That's my decision, and it's a decision that millions of men and women make. Society must evolve and recognize that raising a family is productive and valuable work just like professional work. As I said yesterday, I'm ambitious and that ambition isn't limited to just my work life. In the end, I'll be a stronger person for making a decision that I believe in.

For a long time, I've been frustrated that the work/family relationship is often considered a women's issue when in reality men have to make same decision, even if they don't admit it as often as women. Like me, Ryan needs to be both a nurturing caregiver and a professional, and we will be more supportive of each other if we acknowledge that we are both facing the same decisions and challenges. It may seem obvious to most (and Lord knows I'm a little slow), but it helps to reassess and remember that everyone who has children is in the same boat. Sometimes we just don't act that way.