Maybe I'm just fat and not actually pregnant.

Well, the baby is about a week-and-a-half overdue, and I'm starting to think that I'm not pregnant, just fat. I have been eating on a hobbit schedule for the last nine months. For those not familiar with a hobbit meal schedule, Wikipedia describes it as:

They would enjoy at least seven meals a day, when they can get them – breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and (later in the evening) supper. They were often described as enjoying simple food—such as bread, meat, potatoes, tea, and cheese—and having a particular passion for mushrooms.

This hypothesis may be plausible if I didn't know that there was a heartbeat in my belly and lots of movement, although this could be the result of extreme gas generated by my eating habits.

Assuming I am pregnant, I'm starting to get frustrated with the wait. If I don't go into labor in the next few days, I will be induced, which I'm very nervous about because an induction increases my chances at needing an epidural and/or a cesarean section. Personally, I want to do everything I can to avoid the complications that come with these medical interventions because I want to recover as quickly as possible to start breastfeeding and taking care of the new baby.

In order to ease our minds, we have heard lots of suggestions for starting labor from loving and sympathetic friends and family. Some of the suggestions have real benefits but many are old wive's tales or myths. The reality is that two primary hormones help start labor: prostaglandins and oxytocin (the synthetic form is called pitocin and is used to induce or speed up labor in hospitals). Prostaglandins help the cervix ripen (thin, soften, dilate) while oxytocin helps the uterus contract. Some of the suggested labor inducers are thought to help increase levels of prostaglandins and/or oxytocin. Others have no link to labor whatsoever. Regardless, all of them are funny, so I thought I'd share them with our Nonerick followers.

• Sex (semen has prostaglandins and having an orgasm releases oxytocin - this is one of the more possible/likely labor inducers)
  
• Spicy food (no scientific evidence that this works and no clear theory on why spicy foods may induce labor)
  
• Tumeric (no evidence of labor inducing qualities)
  
• Blueberry pie (huh?)
  
• Large spaghetti dinner/eggplant parmesan (huh?)
  
• Jumping up and down (some people must think that jumping up and down will break your water or result in the baby falling out - this is crazy)
  
• Bumpy car ride (perhaps the same rationale as jumping up and down?)
  
• Walking (there is some evidence that walking can help get the baby in position for birth and put pressure on the cervix to help dilation, however, we've been walking and walking everyday without any results)
  
• Eating pineapple (pineapple has a chemical that may help ripen the cervix, but there is no evidence to suggest that this is a credible theory)
  
• Evening primrose oil (Our midwife suggested trying evening primrose oil, which I started taking a couple of days ago. The theory is that evening primrose oil contains prostaglandins to help the cervix ripen, but there is a lack of scientific evidence that this is the case. I decided to start taking the oil because it doesn't have harmful side effects and there are three possible outcomes from taking the oil, two of which result in labor: 1. the oil actually ripens my cervix and induces labor; 2. a placebo effect ripens my cervix and induces labor; or 3. nothing happens.)
  
• Blue and/or black cohosh (like primrose oil, the evidence is not clear on whether cohosh works to induce labor. However, cohosh can have complications for baby, so I'm not going to take it.)
  
• Castor oil (a powerful laxative, castor oil has been used for centuries to stir labor. However, there is no evidence that it actually does anything and it can lead to dehydration and discomfort, so I'm not taking it.)
  
• Nipple stimulation (there is some evidence that nipple stimulation releases oxytocin, but it's effectiveness as a labor inducer is unclear)
• Full moon (huh? this one has failed us twice now)

Did I miss anything?

Oh right, it's not all about us.

This morning, I realized that I completely forgot to post about two cool events from July. First, Ryan's little brother, Sean, got married! Sadly, we couldn't make it to the wedding (something about very pregnant women not being allowed on planes), but we love the pictures and can't wait to see the video! Carolyn, our new sis-in-law, looked amazing, and we heard it was a great party and a beautiful ceremony. Apparently, the rainy weather that had plagued Syracuse for over a day stopped as a wedding gift to the happy couple. That or Sean and Carolyn have some voodoo magic skills (perhaps super hero powers?) that control the weather.

Cheers to the happy couple!
We wish we could have celebrated with you in person, but we love you and thought of you all weekend!

After Sean and Carolyn got married, we had our last out-of-town guests before baby. My brother, Jacob, and his wife, Jenna, flew in from Wisconsin. My hostess skills were a little off because my energy level and lack of mobility only allowed for small excursions, but I loved showing them Pike Place Market and a few other sites around town. Seattle has had a cool and cloudy summer -- not that I'm complaining -- and we didn't get to the top of the Space Needle. However, Jacob remembered a park with a great view of the city that we enjoyed after the sun came out.

Classic Nonemacher shtick...

followed by a classy photo that belongs in a picture frame.

Thanks, Jacob and Jenna, for making the trip, and thank you for keeping fat pregnant woman jokes to a minimum. Love you guys!

Waiting Game

I'm sorry for the long silence on the blog. We have spent the last few weeks wrapping up work obligations and getting final preparations in place for the little guy's arrival. After I finished work last week, I spent a lot of time sleeping, cleaning, and relaxing. I'm starting to feel a little more "normal" in terms of energy, which is a great thing.

Ryan and I are stuck in the waiting game. I'm past due and labor can start at any time. If I go to 41 weeks, I will have an ultrasound and testing to make sure the bun (more like a loaf at this point) is healthy and safe. My goal is to let things progress as naturally as possible and avoid medical interventions that could lead to more dramatic interventions like a c-section. Unfortunately, this means neither Ryan nor I are in control. Needless to say, we're not entirely comfortable in this new position. I have to admit that I totally understand why some women schedule an induction or c-section.

Here is a typical day in the waiting game: Ryan and I wake up a little groggy and tired from a night of tossing, turning, and trips to the bathroom. We have breakfast in relative silence because conversation is a little tough when you haven't slept more than a couple of hours. When I do sleep, I have weird dreams about my water breaking in really inappropriate places like the grocery store. These dreams don't hold me back from going out, but I can't help but ask my water to stay intact before I go into a store or other public place.

Ryan goes to work because he doesn't want to start his leave until the baby comes -- totally understandable but he is in a tough place where he can't start a multi-day project because you never know when the baby wants to get the labor train moving. I find a couple of easy jobs to do around the house during the day, but spend most of my time napping, reading, or watching Netflix. When the outdoor temperature is reasonable (i.e., not in the 90s), I go for a short walk or run errands to get some activity.

When Ryan returns home from work, he looks for ways to keep himself as busy as possible. Every time I make a noise, he immediately snaps to attention and asks if it's time. I tell him that nothing is happening except the baby kicking my lungs or pushing on my bladder. It's cute to see him so excited and eager to meet his son.

At night, I watch bad reality television shows or read, and I feel terrible for being so lazy when Ryan is a flurry of productivity. Then I remind myself that I am providing basic needs like nourishment, blood, etc. to both myself and another person, so I can give myself a break. That consolation lasts for about 20 minutes. When I start to fret again, I remind myself that I will be working hard when I'm in labor and learning how to be a parent. That consolation lasts for about 45 minutes. This mental back and forth goes on for a while until I'm too tired to worry anymore and I go to bed.

Sometimes, we break up our evening ritual with a baby names discussion. I can't tell you how difficult the names issue is for us. The fact is that we can't talk seriously about names until the baby comes, at which point we we can try out different options to find the name that fits him the best.

We also try to find some time to enjoy each other's company. We went to one of our favorite sushi restaurants for dinner on Sunday and completed the night with gelato. We fully recognize that a major life change is coming at us and that we need to take time to appreciate each other. Spending time together is a priority for us now and when the baby comes.

One thing we've learned in the waiting game: Ryan and I don't like waiting. We aren't the most patient people in the world. That said, we know all the discomfort will be worth it in the end. We are just hoping for the end to be here sooner rather than later.