May is Fun!

We had a crazy May, but it was filled with friends, family, and fun. Here's the recap!

With a little help from Amy, Arlo and Wyatt became budding photographers.  

 Grandma Patty comforted Arlo when he was sick with Fifth Disease. 

Arlo went to the zoo with Grandma and Grandpa Patrick. 

Patty and Arlo had some good quality time.

Papa and Arlo took a break at the gorilla exhibit. 

Arlo pointed out that this is only a statue of a baby gorilla not a real baby gorilla on the loose.

We put Arlo to work fetching water (our old-fashioned lifestyle has gotten a little out of hand). 

Papa and Arlo played at the beach. 

Cousin Amelia and Cousin Lucy enjoyed a baseball game.

Cousin Ameila and Cousin Ingrid enjoyed lemonade. 

 Cousin Lucy was eaten by a giant salmon.

 But Lucy was, um, released from the salmon a short time later.

Amelia became a master climber. 

Lucy was the perfect swing pusher for Arlo. 

Cousin Ingrid showed us her superhero skills.  

Arlo admired Ingrid's technique. 

Then, Lucy gave it a try. 

Arlo preferred it when she pushed him on the swing. So demanding!

The kids and adults played at the International Fountain during the Folklife Festival.  

Lunch!

French Envy

A couple of months ago, my mother-in-law sent me a copy of Bringing Up Bebe (or BUB). The book is the latest bestseller that analyzes other cultures to find clues on how to be a good parent and raise successful kids. Remember all the hubbub over Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother?

Before I talk about BUB, I have to say that part of me wishes I lived in France. Yes, I have a romanticized notion that if I only lived in France, my days would be filled with an appropriate balance of work, leisure, and wine drinking. I would be thinner, happier, more attractive, and enjoy the moment.

Well, it turns out I would also be a better parent if I lived in France. "Puh-lease" you may say, "The French aren't better parents than us." I'm being a bit facetious when I say that I would be a better parent. The truth is that I think the French focus on a broader picture of parenting while Americans, being the delightful control freaks we are, often try to push a set of standards without looking at the whole child and their role as a member of society. If the observations in BUB are accurate, its incredible that French kids eat at restaurants, show remarkable independence at a young age, and learn how to manage tough emotions like frustration.

The French aren't perfect. They have a strange hostility to breastfeeding and model some pretty sexist behavior (what?! Moms don't wear sweatpants?!). But the truth is that we can learn a lot from French parenting norms. Here are a few things I've taken from the book:


Patience is Key: The French seem to emphasize waiting, and they believe in teaching the right behavior instead of correcting to form the right behavior. For example, if adults are talking and a child tries to interrupt, the French tell their kids to wait instead of immediately paying attention to them or brushed off with a "no".

Another example is mealtime. French people, including kids, eat at the same times every day: 8 a.m., noon, 4 p.m., and 8 p.m. The importance isn't the exact time, but the fact that there are three set meals and one set snack. In America, we tend to let kids eat whenever they want and that does not help teach them self control. If a kid wants a special treat, they can get it but they have to wait and eat it during afternoon snack. French kids also bake with their families, which is a perfect activity for teaching patience. You have to assemble the ingredients, wait for the thing to bake and cool, and wait to eat the fruits of your labor until snack or dessert. Brilliant. Arlo and I have already started baking together.


Independence: I've always felt like fostering independence is one of the biggest jobs I have as a parent. That said, it's hard. The line between encouraging independence and using appropriate precaution is unclear. Sometimes, I'm a helicopter parent. I admit it.

The reality is that babies know a lot more than you think they do. I'm constantly surprised by how much I underestimate Arlo. And besides, failing is the best way to learn. That doesn't mean I let him crawl on a jungle gym that is better suited for 12-year olds. But it does mean that maybe I should let him try to climb a reasonable structure by himself. Maybe I should let him try the slide backwards on his own. It's all good even if it's not. It reminds me of our American desire to sterilize everything. Now, we have drug resistant bacteria and ailments that probably could have been avoided with some good parasite/host symbiotic relationships.

The French believe that teaching independence starts from day one. French babies are famous for "doing their nights" within a couple of months. They go to day care (most if not all is government provided) at much higher rates than American kids and at a fairly young age.

To me, watching Arlo be independent, reach a new milestone, and/or figure something out for the first time is positive reinforcement that I'm doing a good job.

Community-Thinking: Despite the French approach to teaching independence, parents are dedicated to teaching their children that they are part of a society/community/collective. As such, they have to be thoughtful and conscientious (see the the section above on waiting). This is something I think American families often lack. Our culture is focused on independence and individualism above all else, and it seems like that attitude is only intensifying. French parents are firm decision makers and enforcers of certain norms and expectations, usually centered on social roles and interactions, but also let their kids have a lot of freedom with just about everything else. This is more than teaching kids to share and say "please" or "thank you", which are all good things. It's about teaching kids healthy ways to deal with differences and be respectful in certain situations like during meals.

Experiences and Pleasure v. Milestones and Achievements: This is something I struggle with a lot. I want Arlo to be smart and have the best chance in life, and sometimes I think that means he has to know how to count to 10 before he's 2 and speak in full sentences right now.

Americans have a belief that kids are sponges and should be coached into learning practical skills as early as possible. The truth is, I want Arlo to be happy. I would love for life to be easy for him, but the truth is that the real value of life is when you enjoy living it. I also believe very strongly that we Americans tend to become tunnelvisioned and overlook the incredible things that exist in our backyard.

The French believe in the rhythm of life and allowing a kid to awaken to life's experiences and pleasures on their own. They don't push preschoolers to read or do basic math. Every kid is different and they learn at their own pace and in their own way. I think of my own life, and how I was a late bloomer and didn't really understand how I needed to learn until much later in life.

I want Arlo to have awareness of the world. Right now, he loves observing things and is deliberate about how he participates, so I think we need to nurture his curiosity and allow him to choose how to live his life and find his place in it all. Don't get me wrong. Education is very important to us and we will challenge him in whatever way we can, but traditional education is one piece of the broader pie. I would rather have Arlo be well-rounded than be the next Steve Jobs. Although, a private plane would be nice...


I highly recommend BUB and encourage folks to read it with an open mind. You will probably have a few moments when you react to something at first blush with horror and confusion. But if you let it sink it, I think you will find bits and pieces that work for you and other approaches that you may do already. 

Bright Spots

Given the weight of our post about Soma, you may be thinking that it's all tears in our house these days. Not so. In fact, we've had some really light hearted moments that are bright spots and remind us to appreciate every minute with each other.

Arlo playing with his good friend, Wyatt. 

Arlo enjoying secondsies with Papa.

Arlo always has at least two breakfasts, and, yes, we are saving so we can cover the dramatic increase in our grocery bill in a few years.

Easter egg hunting at Wyatt's house.

Spring is here!

 Sunday morning hike at Discovery Park. 

My apologies to Ryan for cutting off his head in the photo. I need to work on my photography skills!

The home improvement projects also go on. We're finishing up the last bits of finishing our basement. We put a new floor in our basement 1/2 bath and utility room. White penny tile with gray grout. Love it! Finished project photos will be coming soon! 

Before -- painted concrete foundation with a board over a bill hole in the floor. 

After -- white penny tile with gray grout in keeping with the vintage feel of our house.

 

 Same area as the "before" photograph. 

We also have some fun videos this month. The first is my favorite video ever of Ryan and Arlo after they put up the hammock for the season. They are looking at our camellia tree, which is in full bloom and covered in honey bees.

The second video is a guide on getting a toddler to sleep at night. This technique works for us and we hope it works for you!

(Disclaimer - we forgot to mention the step where we put Arlo's diaper and pajamas on. He does not sleep commando as our video suggests!)

The Best Dog Ever

There is really no other way to say it, we got some really shitty news today. Our beloved dog, Soma, has terminal bone cancer. We're not sure how long we have with him, but it seems like only yesterday we brought home this adorable little butterball puppy. 

For us, Soma is a family member. He's like our first kid. He was our ring bearer. He greets us everyday with unconditional love and complete devotion. Like any family member, he sometimes drives you crazy, but at the end of the day, you would do anything for him. If only we could take away his fucking tumor(s).

Keeping Spice in a Marriage

Today's post is about the joy of spices and challenging yourself to cook a favorite yet unfamiliar food for your special someone. What did you think this post was about? Get your minds out of the gutter.

The bulk food aisle is a magical place. I admit that I used to look at this corner of the grocery store with fear and apprehension. It reminds me of the first time I went to a plant nursery. I went with a friend and avid gardener and was intimidated but curious. I didn't know how to buy bulbs, and I was very nervous about looking stupid or buying the wrong thing. Instead of carefully reading the plant labels, I watched other people pick up brown paper bags that were provided by the store, select a few bulbs, and then write the type, quantity, and bin number on each bag.

I decided to try a relatively safe variety  (Paperwhites, if you must know) that, according to the instructions, you could grow inside during the winter. I figured if the bulbs died in the warmth of my house in January, I would have quietly and privately failed the test and wouldn't have to bother with gardening in the future. Thankfully, the bulbs bloomed brilliantly, and it started a life long love of all things in the garden.

Anyway, back to the bulk food aisle. I thought the whole concept of opening bins to buy unpackaged food was, well, unhygienic and lowbrow. Then, a cashier at my beloved Greenwood Market asked me why I was buying a $5 package of garlic powder when I could buy it in the bulk food section for much less. That wonderful woman changed  my life.

I now buy all of our spices from the bulk food section as well as nuts, oatmeal, flour, sugar, chocolate chips, lentils, beans, rice, and pasta. It truly is a fantastic place to discover new things like Christmas lima beans  or fleur de sel. So far, nobody has gotten food poisoning or any strange diseases. In fact, the selections in the bulk food aisle can make or break my opinion of the grocery store in much the same way as a bulb selection at a nursery.

Don't be scared of the bulk food aisle! Explore it!

 Oooohhh. Pretty.

Yesterday was Ryan's birthday, and I had lots of plans to take him out to dinner or whisk him away to the Methow Valley. Unfortunately, we've all been sick for the last few weeks, and Ryan came down with the dreaded cold just in time to celebrate his 30-something years. We all just wanted a quiet night at home, but that didn't mean that the birthday celebration couldn't be special.

How do you cheer up a guy with a bad sore throat and serious congestion? You make his favorite food, of course! Ryan loves Indian food, and I've always wanted to cook an Indian feast, but, like the bulbs at the nursery, I've been intimidated to try it.

Thank you Google and the bulk food aisle. Without you, Ryan would have been sad and miserable all weekend long.

  Just a few of the spices I picked up at the store. 

The colors and smells were vibrant and wonderful!

 

The start of a delicious Indian basmati rice. 

Simmering Aloo Gobi. 

 A heaping plate of flavorful and satisfying Indian food. 

The rice is in the center of the plate, the aloo gobi is in the foreground, a wonderful lentil daal is on the left, and a decent saag paneer (spinach and cheese dish) is on the right.

And now for dessert. Ryan doesn't like cake (say what?!), so I decided to do something reminiscent of a birthday cake but made out of Ryan's favorite dessert, cookies.

I made an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie cake. Seriously, this thing was the shiz-nit. I put it in a 9-inch round cake pan, and it took about 40-45 minutes to cook in my convection oven. We added a scoop of good quality vanilla ice cream, and let me just say that the final product was DI-VINE.

 

My artsy photo of the cookie-cake with Ryan's birthday tulips. Soma wanted to watch in the background just in case the cookie-cake should spill or need tidying up. 

 9 birthday candles (we decided to have each candle represent 4 years of his life). 

I don't know whether Arlo is terrified or mesmerized or both of the burning candles. 

 

O. M. G. 

Happy Birthday, Ryan! I love you very much!

Winter in Seattle

Ok, I suck at keeping up with the Nonericks. We've been hibernating, and we have many more excuses: snow days, the Packers in the playoffs (ugh), a nasty round of the stomach flu, winter gardening.

I actually made a movie showing our winter adventures (minus footage of the stomach flu and the Packers) starring Arlo Sherman Patrick. Keep your eye out for this kid. He has a real future. His emotional range is amazing, but he needs to develop more coordination and balance before he can be a double threat.

Winter in Seattle

Music by: The Decemberists (January Hymn) and Jolie Holland (Littlest Birds)

If the movie is not enough, there's more.

Arlo was so sad when the Giants beat the Packers in the playoffs... again!

 

 Snow Day!

What do you do for a sled when you live in largely snow-free location? 

Use a plastic storage bin, of course!

In addition to playing in the snow and watching football, Arlo got a big boy potty seat. He's not quite ready to use the seat for its intended purpose, but he seems to enjoy having a new place to sit.

We are excited for the day when this position will mean we avoid one more diaper.

We also got to visit a beautiful place on the Skykomish River near Seattle where a new hydropower dam could dramatically alter one of Washington's coolest rivers. It was a very cool spot, and we plan to return to do some hiking in the summertime.

Canyon Falls 

(targeted for dynamite and dewatering - boo)

 

 The Skykomish River and Mt. Index in the background. 

Gorgeous even on a cloudy day.

Finally, the garden season has started. Just today, I planted some radishes, carrots, kale, lettuce, peas, and blueberry shrubs. So excited to learn if I can grow edibles!

Oh, and Arlo helped!

Arlo took an occasional break to watch an airplane.

 

Arlo is a good helper, when he isn't eating dirt. Good for the immune system, right? 

That's enough dirt eating for one day.

Fun and Firsts

Despite our silence on the blog, we've been busy during the last few weeks. Arlo got his first haircut and enjoyed his first trip to the aquarium. We also celebrated a good friend's 1st birthday and made time to play in the new and improved playroom. 

You may be asking yourself why we felt compelled to cut Arlo's fine hair. Well, pictures are worth a thousand words, so here you go.

How can you notice that cute little face with wild, "Mad Scientist" hair? 

 Yep, it's even worse from behind.

 Who is that handsome boy with perfectly trimmed locks?

We're still waiting for the hair to fill out up front, but he looks more like a toddler and less like a baby after his new haircut.

At the aquarium, we spent a little time playing on a pier to enjoy the incredible view of the Olympic mountains.

 We love our town!

Arlo wasn't as impressed by the mountains. He wanted to check out the fish in the aquarium. 

Happy Birthday, Wyatt!

Wyatt inspects a cool homemade blanket made by his Aunt Becky. Even Arlo is struck by the craftsmanship.

Reading books together before dinner. Buds for life, we think!

(I owe Arlo an apology for not catching the embarrassing diaper faux pas.)

Fun with Friends!

Wyatt exploring the tunnel.

Barrett playing Peek-a-Boo!

"There she is!"

Serious engineering going on. 

Barrett and her Mama, Lydia, providing a little music for the play date. 

 Arlo loves the tunnel!