Maybe I'm just fat and not actually pregnant.

Well, the baby is about a week-and-a-half overdue, and I'm starting to think that I'm not pregnant, just fat. I have been eating on a hobbit schedule for the last nine months. For those not familiar with a hobbit meal schedule, Wikipedia describes it as:

They would enjoy at least seven meals a day, when they can get them – breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner and (later in the evening) supper. They were often described as enjoying simple food—such as bread, meat, potatoes, tea, and cheese—and having a particular passion for mushrooms.

This hypothesis may be plausible if I didn't know that there was a heartbeat in my belly and lots of movement, although this could be the result of extreme gas generated by my eating habits.

Assuming I am pregnant, I'm starting to get frustrated with the wait. If I don't go into labor in the next few days, I will be induced, which I'm very nervous about because an induction increases my chances at needing an epidural and/or a cesarean section. Personally, I want to do everything I can to avoid the complications that come with these medical interventions because I want to recover as quickly as possible to start breastfeeding and taking care of the new baby.

In order to ease our minds, we have heard lots of suggestions for starting labor from loving and sympathetic friends and family. Some of the suggestions have real benefits but many are old wive's tales or myths. The reality is that two primary hormones help start labor: prostaglandins and oxytocin (the synthetic form is called pitocin and is used to induce or speed up labor in hospitals). Prostaglandins help the cervix ripen (thin, soften, dilate) while oxytocin helps the uterus contract. Some of the suggested labor inducers are thought to help increase levels of prostaglandins and/or oxytocin. Others have no link to labor whatsoever. Regardless, all of them are funny, so I thought I'd share them with our Nonerick followers.

• Sex (semen has prostaglandins and having an orgasm releases oxytocin - this is one of the more possible/likely labor inducers)
  
• Spicy food (no scientific evidence that this works and no clear theory on why spicy foods may induce labor)
  
• Tumeric (no evidence of labor inducing qualities)
  
• Blueberry pie (huh?)
  
• Large spaghetti dinner/eggplant parmesan (huh?)
  
• Jumping up and down (some people must think that jumping up and down will break your water or result in the baby falling out - this is crazy)
  
• Bumpy car ride (perhaps the same rationale as jumping up and down?)
  
• Walking (there is some evidence that walking can help get the baby in position for birth and put pressure on the cervix to help dilation, however, we've been walking and walking everyday without any results)
  
• Eating pineapple (pineapple has a chemical that may help ripen the cervix, but there is no evidence to suggest that this is a credible theory)
  
• Evening primrose oil (Our midwife suggested trying evening primrose oil, which I started taking a couple of days ago. The theory is that evening primrose oil contains prostaglandins to help the cervix ripen, but there is a lack of scientific evidence that this is the case. I decided to start taking the oil because it doesn't have harmful side effects and there are three possible outcomes from taking the oil, two of which result in labor: 1. the oil actually ripens my cervix and induces labor; 2. a placebo effect ripens my cervix and induces labor; or 3. nothing happens.)
  
• Blue and/or black cohosh (like primrose oil, the evidence is not clear on whether cohosh works to induce labor. However, cohosh can have complications for baby, so I'm not going to take it.)
  
• Castor oil (a powerful laxative, castor oil has been used for centuries to stir labor. However, there is no evidence that it actually does anything and it can lead to dehydration and discomfort, so I'm not taking it.)
  
• Nipple stimulation (there is some evidence that nipple stimulation releases oxytocin, but it's effectiveness as a labor inducer is unclear)
• Full moon (huh? this one has failed us twice now)

Did I miss anything?

Oh right, it's not all about us.

This morning, I realized that I completely forgot to post about two cool events from July. First, Ryan's little brother, Sean, got married! Sadly, we couldn't make it to the wedding (something about very pregnant women not being allowed on planes), but we love the pictures and can't wait to see the video! Carolyn, our new sis-in-law, looked amazing, and we heard it was a great party and a beautiful ceremony. Apparently, the rainy weather that had plagued Syracuse for over a day stopped as a wedding gift to the happy couple. That or Sean and Carolyn have some voodoo magic skills (perhaps super hero powers?) that control the weather.

Cheers to the happy couple!
We wish we could have celebrated with you in person, but we love you and thought of you all weekend!

After Sean and Carolyn got married, we had our last out-of-town guests before baby. My brother, Jacob, and his wife, Jenna, flew in from Wisconsin. My hostess skills were a little off because my energy level and lack of mobility only allowed for small excursions, but I loved showing them Pike Place Market and a few other sites around town. Seattle has had a cool and cloudy summer -- not that I'm complaining -- and we didn't get to the top of the Space Needle. However, Jacob remembered a park with a great view of the city that we enjoyed after the sun came out.

Classic Nonemacher shtick...

followed by a classy photo that belongs in a picture frame.

Thanks, Jacob and Jenna, for making the trip, and thank you for keeping fat pregnant woman jokes to a minimum. Love you guys!

Waiting Game

I'm sorry for the long silence on the blog. We have spent the last few weeks wrapping up work obligations and getting final preparations in place for the little guy's arrival. After I finished work last week, I spent a lot of time sleeping, cleaning, and relaxing. I'm starting to feel a little more "normal" in terms of energy, which is a great thing.

Ryan and I are stuck in the waiting game. I'm past due and labor can start at any time. If I go to 41 weeks, I will have an ultrasound and testing to make sure the bun (more like a loaf at this point) is healthy and safe. My goal is to let things progress as naturally as possible and avoid medical interventions that could lead to more dramatic interventions like a c-section. Unfortunately, this means neither Ryan nor I are in control. Needless to say, we're not entirely comfortable in this new position. I have to admit that I totally understand why some women schedule an induction or c-section.

Here is a typical day in the waiting game: Ryan and I wake up a little groggy and tired from a night of tossing, turning, and trips to the bathroom. We have breakfast in relative silence because conversation is a little tough when you haven't slept more than a couple of hours. When I do sleep, I have weird dreams about my water breaking in really inappropriate places like the grocery store. These dreams don't hold me back from going out, but I can't help but ask my water to stay intact before I go into a store or other public place.

Ryan goes to work because he doesn't want to start his leave until the baby comes -- totally understandable but he is in a tough place where he can't start a multi-day project because you never know when the baby wants to get the labor train moving. I find a couple of easy jobs to do around the house during the day, but spend most of my time napping, reading, or watching Netflix. When the outdoor temperature is reasonable (i.e., not in the 90s), I go for a short walk or run errands to get some activity.

When Ryan returns home from work, he looks for ways to keep himself as busy as possible. Every time I make a noise, he immediately snaps to attention and asks if it's time. I tell him that nothing is happening except the baby kicking my lungs or pushing on my bladder. It's cute to see him so excited and eager to meet his son.

At night, I watch bad reality television shows or read, and I feel terrible for being so lazy when Ryan is a flurry of productivity. Then I remind myself that I am providing basic needs like nourishment, blood, etc. to both myself and another person, so I can give myself a break. That consolation lasts for about 20 minutes. When I start to fret again, I remind myself that I will be working hard when I'm in labor and learning how to be a parent. That consolation lasts for about 45 minutes. This mental back and forth goes on for a while until I'm too tired to worry anymore and I go to bed.

Sometimes, we break up our evening ritual with a baby names discussion. I can't tell you how difficult the names issue is for us. The fact is that we can't talk seriously about names until the baby comes, at which point we we can try out different options to find the name that fits him the best.

We also try to find some time to enjoy each other's company. We went to one of our favorite sushi restaurants for dinner on Sunday and completed the night with gelato. We fully recognize that a major life change is coming at us and that we need to take time to appreciate each other. Spending time together is a priority for us now and when the baby comes.

One thing we've learned in the waiting game: Ryan and I don't like waiting. We aren't the most patient people in the world. That said, we know all the discomfort will be worth it in the end. We are just hoping for the end to be here sooner rather than later.

1 Month To Go!

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and have a little over a month to go until the little guy arrives. The baby weighs about as much as a cantaloupe, and Ryan and I are running around like crazy people in order to finish up last minute projects before our lives are no longer our own. Ryan is putting up trim in the basement, and I'm organizing the nursery and painting a few friendly garden bugs on the wall. Check it out!

The bug sanctuary and soon-to-be changing station.

Busy bees

A fluttering Monarch butterfly

In addition to nesting around the house, we are finding a pediatrician, lining up day care, developing a birth plan, and preparing our first child, Soma, for the arrival of a human sibling. As if preparing for basic child rearing wasn't enough, we are also figuring out our parental leave plans for work, developing a post-baby budget, and conditioning ourselves for labor and delivery (look for a funny post later this week on Ryan's experience with pre-birth training). It's all a little insane. Ok, it's a lot insane.


I thought it may be helpful to share my 3rd trimester observations -- physical, social, and mental -- for those who want to be reminded of what the 3rd trimester was like or for those who haven't been pregnant (e.g., smart women and most, but not all, men).


While I've been lucky to avoid symptoms like back pain, the third trimester has presented some delightful side effects including:

• Painful Hips -- Sitting for too long hurts. Standing for too long hurts. Walking for too long hurts. Laying on your side (forget your back) for too long hurts. You get the picture. Imagine feeling like your hip bones are spreading or moving to the point of near dislocation. I keep telling myself that it's a good sign for childbirth, but let's face it, hip pain stinks. When I get up, I waddle like a penguin and grunt like a weight lifter or a tennis player. Attractive, no?

• Heartburn -- Although heartburn is a useful excuse for eating ice cream, the cons vastly outweigh the benefits. Pregnant women make a hormone called progesterone, which relaxes the valve between the stomach and esophagus. This combined with the crowding and shifting of most of your internal organs result in food and acid reflux. I tend to get heartburn if I haven't eaten in a while (30 minutes or so), just finished eating, or lie down. Before I go to bed at night, I kiss Ryan and my bottle of Tums. Ryan is getting a little jealous.

• Swelling -- I used to think that pregnant women only had swelling in their feet. No way, Jose. I'm swelling everywhere. I have cankles, and my hands are so swollen, I took off my wedding ring out of a fear that it could fuse with my bulging skin. When you combine my swollen state with my waddling, I look more like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man than a real person.

• Exhaustion -- It's baaaacccckkk. Yes, after spending my first trimester trying to find any opportunity to snooze, I'm a walking zombie again. The crazy part about the third trimester is that all the symptoms seem to work collectively against you. For example, because I'm a swollen beast dealing with the discomfort of heartburn and hip pain, I can't hide my exhaustion very well. Need evidence? Check out the photo below for proof.

See how tired I look?

8 months pregnant and ready for bed at 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

• Pregnancy Brain -- I admit that I thought pregnancy brain wasn't a real condition. Boy was I wrong. I am 300% more forgetful, flakey, and spacey than before, and it completely freaks me out. Some say it's the result of hormones and stress, but whatever the cause, pregnancy brain is a real problem. For example, I was the last to leave my office one night, and I forgot to lock the door when I left to go home. WHAT THE HELL? Old Darcy would never have overlooked that important detail. I've annoyed friends by promising to call and get together and then completely forgetting my promise. Let's just hope I regain some cognitive function when the little guy arrives because his life could be in jeopardy. I could drive off with the baby in a car seat on the roof of our car or in a parking lot somewhere. Sheesh!

With all the stress and physical symptoms of late pregnancy, it's no wonder why women get a little sensitive. Here is some advice on how to communicate with an uber-pregnant woman:

TIP #1: Lie -- I know we teach our kids to tell the truth and should walk the walk, but talking to a pregnant woman requires some amount of truth bending or even outright lying. For example, tell her that she's carrying the pregnancy really well and doesn't look that big. Sure, the truth is she looks like a planet with her own gravitational pull, but she doesn't have to know that. Tell her she looks fit and strong. Oh, and the "you're glowing" comment should really be limited to the 2nd trimester when it's actually flattering. Pregnant women in their 3rd trimester feel like they are sweating all the time even if it's 30 degrees outside, so "glowing" actually means disgusting and visibly shvitzing all over the place.

TIP #2: Don't tell a pregnant woman how big she is or when you think she'll give birth -- We've all done it. The fact is that telling a pregnant woman, "Wow, you look like you're about to pop." or "Are you sure you don't have two in there?" is a really, really dumb idea. As stated earlier, when in doubt, lie. There is nothing funny or cute about being reminded that you are huge and on the verge of exploding. As a pregnant woman, you feel that way every second of every day. Say something nice or keep your mouth shut. Your balls will thank you for it.

TIP #3: Telling a first time mom-to-be that her life will change after the baby comes is about as helpful as telling her that labor will hurt -- Experienced parents who are in the "club" like to tell expecting parents that life will be completely different when the baby comes. No way, you must be kidding? The fact that I planned having a child clearly shows that I thought life would be exactly the same before and after having a kid.

HELLO?! Planning for a baby means you understand that becoming a parent will require changes and sacrifice. The only thing such a comment accomplishes is freaking out a poor soon-to-be parent who is already a little unsure about the wisdom of their decision. Tell them that they will be a great parent. Do not tell them something they already know and feel insecure about.

TIP #4: No pregnant woman sleeps in the last few weeks/months before going into labor -- Many people say, "Enjoy your sleep now because you won't be sleeping at all when the baby comes!" I'm shocked that so many people think I'm sleeping now. Before pregnancy, I was a stomach sleeper, so the fact that I have to sleep on my side means I'm uncomfortable to start with. Add the hip pain and heartburn that I spoke of earlier and you can imagine my sleeping ability these days. If that wasn't enough, I also have to go to the bathroom every hour or so, which means that the minute I find a comfortable position, I have to get up to go pee and disrupt the whole process.

Oh, and don't retort to a pregnant woman's "I'm already not sleeping" response with the classic, "Well, I guess you are already prepared for a lack of sleep." Seriously, it's tacky.

Hopefully, this provides a little insight on the dos and don'ts of pregnancy communication. While the gritty nature of this post may be too much for some, it is much better than sharing the details of my bodily functions. That's for another post (just kidding!).

The right way to celebrate Independence Day

Our friend, Joe (husband to Bonnie), came to Seattle for work and stayed for the weekend. Ryan had a great time bonding with his male compadres, Joe and Byron. Watching the three amigos conspire over video games, technology, and alcohol was a lot of fun. Sadly, I don't have a picture of them in action, but I wanted to thank Joe for making the trip and spending some extra time with us.

In addition to lots of male bonding, we spent our weekend benefiting from this. Jealous?

Feelin' the Love

We felt a lot of love this weekend. Lots of our loved ones traveled great distances to visit us and attend a baby shower organized by our dear friend, Amy. Unfortunately, the weather didn't cooperate. Between the rain, the clouds, and the cold, it felt more like March than the end of June. Of course, a day or so after everyone left, it was sunny and 75 degrees. If only Mother Nature would show the same love as our wonderful family and friends!

Ryan's dad is ready to rock Father's Day weekend!

Hannah, Chris, Ava, and Xander chillin' at the Nonerick crib.


My mom flew in for one day to enjoy the shower and coordinate with Ryan's mom on labor communications.

Awww... Summer in Seattle.
The ferry ride was fun, but it would have been even better if it was nice outside.

Taking in the rainy view on the ferry to Bainbridge.

Fish face!

Soma thinking deep thoughts or planning an escape with so many people in his house.

Thank you to everyone who visited this weekend and showed us lots of love. Of course, we also appreciate the love shown to us by our local friends as well. We are very lucky to know such cool people!

Happy Birthday, Soma!

Soma turned 5 this week. It's hard to believe but time flies when you're having fun!